I have to tell you about this movie I just saw. It’s called V for Vengeance, and it’s about adopted sisters, two vampires and one finding a cure for vampirism. On the poster, one of the sisters is holding a crossbow, which she never does in the movie. I had put it on to have something in the background while I tinkered with my latest work of art, but Oscar set up camp on my arm, so I had to watch it.

I really enjoyed this movie. One of the sisters is armed with a stake made out of the same kind of tree the cross was made out of. They call it the Jesus Stake. She had the Jesus Stake because she called dibs when it was brought out. There is a government agency called the Federal Vampire Corps.

I don’t love this movie because it’s good. I don’t love it because it’s so bad it’s good. I love it because it tries so hard. For example, a hilarious philosophical debate about eternal life goes on between an impeccably groomed man who likes to shout and a young woman in a baby tee, and short-shorts, using words like elucidate.

The death scenes, of which there’s a spectacular one (well, more than one) near the end of the movie, are on par with Paul Reubens on the movie Buffy the Vampire Slayer. It wasn’t supposed to be hilarious.

The writing is not very good, but it follows the formula. The character you’re expecting to betray the good guys betrays the good guys. One of the sisters is falling for the Judas, but their romance is awkward motel sex, so you can’t really buy it. The dialogue is … fine? I guess. It’s influenced by Joss Whedon, but without the pop culture references.

Speaking of the writing, this movie has Chekov’s switchblade boot. You figure out pretty quickly when the lethal footwear will come in handy. You may not expect any twists, but they come up with an even dumber use for them that you really don’t see coming. Of course, this is used to kill the bad guy. (If you’ve seen this kind of movie before, I’m not spoiling anything.)

On the other hand, the actor who plays the lead is actually really good. Her character is a vampire who drinks too much alcohol and gazes contemplatively into the distance when she’s not killing perverts on the highway. The actor (whose name I didn’t get) portrays her with sass and joie de vivre, and she’s a real bright spot.

Most of the actors aren’t that great, but Graham Greene’s in it. The fight choreography is choppy and raw, but quite good. For budget reasons, they didn’t use their vampire powers much, but when they did, they were cool and different.

I guess what I liked about this movie is that it could have been good with a budget, even the script, the weakest part. I don’t recommend it because it isn’t good, but I had a good time.