I’ve decided what I really want to see. I really want to see the technicolor wackiness and goofy characters of the 1966 Batman TV series, but instead of Adam West, I want to see the Ben Affleck/Frank Miller sociopathic sadist Batman running roughshod over Groovy Gotham.

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ROBIN: Holy street pizza, Batman, you’re dangling him over the roof by his foot!

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GORDON: You can’t torture that man, Batman! He has rights, and as a duly deputized officer of the law, you have to respect them!

BATMAN: Sure he has rights. He has the right to ride in a wheelchair for the rest of his life. *CRACK! Henchman screams* He has the right never to hold a pencil again. *CRACK! Henchman screams again* Enjoying your rights, scum? WHERE IS THE JOKER!

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POISON IVY: You wouldn’t hit a lady, would you, Batman?

BATMAN: *PUNCH*

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I think I’m onto something here.